Where are the best French Fries?


Fast food needs no introduction. There are many fast food restaurants, each with their own unique niche. However, one item seems to be sold universally across all the chains: french fries. To determine which location sells the best french fries, I, Dillon Schneider, the news editor and professional “food critic” for CN Blue and Gold, am here to settle this matter once and for all.
Before I begin giving a highly detailed breakdown of each french fry, I must admit to a little oopsie I made when undertaking this endeavor. In the hope of directly comparing each fry, I attempted to pick them all up, then eat them all at once. To all the aspiring food critics who read my articles: DO NOT DO THIS. The french fries got soggy and old. All of them. It was the largest blunder of my professional career. I have let down all those who look up to me and read my articles for advice. I broke my readers’ trust, and I hope someday I will be able to win it back. However, this setback will not prevent a review of the soggy old fries. If you stay tuned, you can still learn which french fries taste the best after sitting in the bag for an hour. I am deeply sorry to those who were expecting an article on fresh french fries.
The order in which I picked up the french fries is as follows: Chick-fil-A, Arby’s, Burger King, McDonald’s, and finally Wendy’s. The total driving time was about an hour, and Wendy’s was the only location that escaped becoming cold and soggy. Therefore, Wendy’s has an unfair advantage in this review, and along with my pre-existing bias, many of the ratings will be controversial. Also, I ordered different kinds of french fries from both Arby’s and Burger King, so those locations will have multiple ratings. Finally, I ate all of these fries without adding salt, ketchup, or anything else one would add to french fries. Let the reviewing commence.

The first french fry I tried was the coldest and oldest, Chick-fil-A. Chick-fil-A french fries are waffle fries which I normally enjoy whenever I go there. Something to note about the Chick-fil-A french french fries is they still have potato skin on them. I enjoy potato skin, so this is a plus in my book. The french fries I tried had a medium amount of salt on them, which I thought was good. The final observation I can make about them is one I struggle to put into words. The best way I can describe it is that the taste goes up, almost like how music is happy or sad and uses different notes to express that. Chick-fil-A ends on an optimistic or happy note (that’s a metaphor. I do not have synesthesia. I also know almost no music theory, so I could be completely wrong about how that works. I am a food critic, not a composer.). Even if you disregard that weird part at the end, I think Chick-fil-A french fries hold up, even when soggy and old. 7/10.
Next I tried the Arby’s crinkle fries. These were pretty mediocre, with a good amount of salt but not much else going for them. The only other thing of note is my weird description of their taste. It doesn’t go up or down, and it’s almost a content, constant taste. 5/10.
After the Arby’s crinkle fries were the french fries I was most looking forward to: the Arby’s curly fries. The key difference between these and their competitors is the seasoning. Whatever that seasoning is, it’s good. When you take a bite, the flavor, which is almost spikey (the music analogy doesn’t work anymore), fills your mouth completely. However, if I ate too many french fries with this seasoning, I think it would become overpowering and end up tasting bad. However, this doesn’t ruin my enjoyment of the fries. 8/10.

Next up are the Burger King fries. I hated these. They were tough (hopefully because they were old), had a bad down taste that wouldn’t leave your mouth after eating one, and were just all around terrible. 2/10.
Now for what I expect to be my most controversial opinion to date. When I got home, the McDonalds fries were already cold. Before I tried them, I noticed they were by far the smallest of all the fries. However, small things can still have big flavor. I had heard these fries were very good, and as I tried one, I definitely could tell why. Even when cold and soggy, these fries were good. The taste didn’t go up or down, which was quite enjoyable. 7/10.
Last but not least was Wendy’s. At this point, I had already eaten so many cold, old, soggy french fries that I was spent. However, the Wendy’s fries were from just down the street, and they were still hot. It was salvation. As I ate them, I tried to not let the fact that they were wonderfully fresh and hot cloud my judgment. Wendy’s fries, just like Chick-fil-A fries, have skin on them. The flavor, just like Arby’s curly fries, fills your mouth. As they were, I would give them a 9/10. They are what I think of when I think of french fries. However, I bumped a few points off to make it fair for the soggy and cold fries. 8/10.
So here we are. Which did I like more? Arby’s or Wendy’s? Well, drum roll please: (imagine a drum roll). THE WINNER IS: Burger King. If you remember, at the beginning of the article, I mentioned getting two types of fries from Burger King. I said the normal fries sucked, but I didn’t mention the second type of fries, the chicken fries. These chicken fries, which are pretty much chicken tenders in the shape of fries, were the best. Maybe it was because I was sick of fries. Maybe it was because they were

actually good. Either way, the chicken fries get a 9/10. If you really want my opinion on regular french fries, I like the Chick-fil-A waffle fries the most, even though they didn’t get as high a score as some others. Even though this probably wasn’t the answer most readers wanted, I value honesty and transparency whenever giving my professional opinion. Chick-fil-A clearly has proven to be a dominant force in my reviews, never being beaten by any contestants. The debate is settled. Have a good day.